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| So Joel Osteen yesterday says: When you are faced with your most dificult trial yet, it is because your promotion is about to come. I really hope so! I trust God has a great plan for me. But this trial has been very dificult. I knwo what I have to do despite saying "I don t know what to do?" I know i dont miss him, I miss the attention, the way it made me feel, the security that i had when he was with me, when he held my hand, when he got me a flower, when he would say hello. I miss the way he would say "hola" and talk to me in spanish. I still remember him drawing with his finger on my hand I <3 you. I still remeber those long hugs after we got to the airport back home. i still remember thinking "why? if he has a gf." Why do we ignore the clear signs of things not working? Why do we let the "but it felt right" excuse get the best of us? Because Its where our heart aches the most. Its what deep inside longs to be filled. Despite having God, i feel ashamed that he isnt enough for me. i want him to b enough. I want him to surpise me with that kind of love that only he can put in my life. No stress, no drama, no worries. | | |
| I stand by and watch as everyone's life moves on. I stand by and watch as time goes by. I stand by and watch as my heart withers away into oblivion. I stand by.
I stand by and wait for God to do his work in me, I guess my biggest trial is that which requieres patience.
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| I dream about you latel, I think about you lately, I wonder what your life is like without me, I wonder if you have loved anyone as much as you loved me. Loved, past tense, loved. I dont know if you can ever forgive me, much less speak to me. I know i broke your heart oh so many times. Some may call what I have been through Karma. I see it as God's way of telling me its His way or the highway.
Quiero q tu memoria desaparezca. Quiero vivir sin pensar q seria de nosotros si las csas fueran diferentes. Pero la verdad es q te extrano, extrano escuchar tu voz diciendo Mona, extrano tu fuerta abrazo, extrano tus besos, extrano la forma en q me cojias de la mano y no me querias soltar, extrano los rayones en mi anden q decian "mona te amo" Te extrano. Sueno contigo, y en mi desespero te imagino conmigo. Es tortura no saber de ti.
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| eres para mi, me lo ha dicho el viento,
eres para mi, lo oigo todo el tiempo,
eres para mi
la sombra que pasa,
la luz que me abraza
tus ojos mirandome,
la calle que canta su canto de diario,
el mundo moviendose,
y yo se que tienes miedo
y no es un buen momento para ti
y para esto que nos viene sucediendo, pero
eres para mi, me lo ha dicho el viento,
eres para mi, lo oigo todo el tiempo,
eres para mi.
el espejo que da su reflejo en todo
lo pinta tal como es,
mi cuerpo que no tiene peso
si escucho tu voz llamandome
y yo se que tienes miedo
y no es un buen momento para ti
y para esto que nos viene sucediendo,
dejame sentir mas de la cuenta,
el corazon es un musculo, s
i no late revienta, extraño,
mirarte de lejos, decir unos tonos,
parecemos tan viejos, tiempo,
mm, ¿quieres mas tiempo?
mirame la piel no ves a caso lo que siento?
tu eres para mi yo soy para ti
el viento me lo dijo con un soplo suavecito
y yo se que tienes miedo
y no es un buen momento para ti
y para esto que nos viene sucediendo, pero
eres para mi, me lo ha dicho el viento,
eres para mi, lo oigo todo el tiempo,
eres para mi.
tu eres para mi yo soy para ti el viento me lo dijo con
un soplo suavecito
eres para mi, me lo ha dicho el viento,
eres para mi, lo oigo todo el tiempo,
eres para mi. | | |
| Stop caring, stop thinking, stop wasting time! I should have studied but instead I played DDR, I should have said no, you cant sleep over, but instead I said sure ok! You can come and use me as ur scape goat. I will be there unconditionally to give you want you need so you dont feel so lonely. Sure I will be your plan B. YOu will never be alone. STOP!!! If you are going to leave that girl once and for all, it will be because you know you shouldnt be together, not because you have someone "better" and you will never be alone. I mean, thats what Im here for, no? So that you never have to go a day without companionship, who cares if I can feel my heart breaking in the process. Who cares if it kills me to see you bend over backwards for someone who doesnt care enough about you to respect you. Who cares if this friendship is thrown away over something we know is wrong at least right now. I wish things were different, I wish you realized how good we can be. You may know it but you are not gonna do anything about it not the right way. But thats not how it works, you cant forget her magically, you need to heal, but without me. Im glad Im leaving to Colombia, I want to make sure that if you do decide to end things with her for sure, its because you realize she doesnt love you like before, and not because I'm the "safe" one to choose. I want to be there always as a friend for you. I love you so much and I just want what is best for you. It sucks that I am so weak, and that I am so caring. It sucks that I give my all no matter what. I hope that God enlightens me and shows me the way. People say i have to be cold, that i have to be numb. I cant. God gave me such a caring heart, such a vulnerable heart. But I trust that he will make me stronger. I know he will.
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